For a teenager, a breakup is a very deep pain that they feel they can never overcome. You will feel a lot of emotional anguish that you will not know how to channel correctly. Actually, as a parent, a breakup in your teenager gives you the opportunity to teach him how to deal with this pain, rejection, disappointment, and this wave of negative emotions. It is important to teach him how to deal with these types of breakups to prevent him from feeling even worse as the days go by.
The first step is to validate your teen’s emotions… even though you knew it wouldn’t be a lifelong relationship, maybe your teen thought it was. Respect their emotions and make them see that you understand that it is difficult for them, that it is normal for them to feel sad. Avoid phrases like: ‘this is not really a big problem’.
Support their decisions
It may be your adolescent child who has decided to leave the relationship with his / her partner, but this does not mean that he / she will not suffer too. Even if you like his partner, don’t try to dissuade him from his decision, let it be his choice.
Find the middle point
Your first reaction may be to say soothing phrases, but these ‘cliche’ phrases are not always the best option. Phrases such as: ‘there are many fish in the sea’, it is better to leave them aside. As an adult, you know that life continues when a relationship ends, but your adolescent does not have this hindsight. He needs your hope for the future to know that he won’t feel this way forever, although it is necessary for him to accept his uncomfortable emotions, he must go through the grieving process.
Listen to everything he has to say to you
When your teen talks to you, don’t interrupt him with your opinions. You need time to express your frustration, confusion, and all those intense emotions… without anyone clouding your thoughts.
We are in the age of social media so teenagers rush to update their sentimental status. It’s important to have a conversation about how long to wait (at least a few weeks) after the breakup so that you don’t post anything that you may later regret.
Distractions and routine
There is nothing better to be well than having a distraction that prevents your teenager from having unwanted thoughts. You can go for a walk, go to the movies, go out to dinner, go shopping… Think about the activities you enjoy the most and then schedule them to do as a family. Keep your child away from social networks and remember that they have a great life even if they do not have a boyfriend.
Routines are also a must after distractions. Academic tasks, housework, family outings, and sports should follow their schedules.
Roller coaster of emotions
After the first few days of drama, it is normal for your child to begin to calm down even if he or she has a bad day every now and then. Your teenager may go through phases in which they will feel better at the end of the day and others in which they will cry inconsolably. Don’t be surprised if he goes through different phases before his mood calms down completely.
If you find that things start to get too complicated, then do not hesitate to see a professional to help your teenager cope with the separation. A therapist can be a great idea in the weeks after your breakup.